[ He takes that as a yes to the talking, and Shiro sets to making tea. Which is, indeed, much better than his cooking!! He's even got a bit of meat out for the goodest boy.
And when Keith enters the temple, Shiro's in the lounge area, tea prepared and waiting for Keith. The meat's out on a plate on the end of the couch, too. Shiro greets Keith with a smile. ]
[The goodest boy is, in fact, at his heels as Keith walks back into the temple, but as soon as he catches the smell of delicious meat, he's picking up the pace to run and then warp on over to the couch. He doesn't hop up there right away, instead sticking his nose dangerously close to the plate and wagging his tail, because clearly that's the best way to get Shiro to hand feed him the treats, right? That's the plan for tonight, right??
Keith can't help but laugh softly when he sees that the wolf's plan isn't to misbehave completely. It's been a long day, and he's honestly pretty tired, which can probably heard in his voice and... should make him a little less apprehensive about talking. At least, he's hoping that'll be the case.]
Thanks.
[The tea... yeah, something to warm back up with sounds extra nice right now. He'll take a cup before sitting down across from Shiro.]
[ The wolf is absolutely adorable, and Shiro chuckles as he watches him. ]
Go ahead. Keith and I are going to talk, but you can have all the meat on that plate, alright?
[ And then his attention is fully on Keith. His own cup is in his hands, and he takes a sip of the tea. It's good; tea is one of the few things Shiro can make perfectly, and after a day in the chilly January air, it's perfect. ]
So... difficult day today? [ he asks softly, eyebrows pulling together in concern. ]
[Oh okay!! He seems to understand 'Go ahead' pretty easily, and with that, the wolf makes himself cozy on the couch, grabs a piece of the meet in his mouth, and starts to
wolf
it down.
Keith regards him with a small smile, and then turns his attention back to Shiro. He's grateful for his initiative at cracking the conversation open first, even though it leaves Keith with a number of options as to what to start with. He drops his focus down to the cup in his hands, running his thumb over the rim of it idly as he thinks.]
I didn't know that you knew Pidge.
[It's an attempt to both sidestep the big 'Lance' issue for a little longer, while genuinely getting something off his mind to help ease him into the flow of the conversation and eventually into a topic less... 'easy'.]
[ More of that time nonsense, then. Honestly, Pidge is right: That shouldn't be possible. Bringing people here, not just once but twice and up to three times, taking them from different times... It shouldn't be possible. But it very much is.
But having to meet someone multiple times, when they don't know you... That has to be difficult. ]
We've known each other for a while. We're part of the same team, back home.
[ A team you're part of, too, a team where you're important and loved, Shiro doesn't say, but he thinks it. Sure, they've had their rough spots, but they've become a family. And Lance and Keith don't even remember.
... it hurts, deeply, worse than any wound he'd sustained during his time as a gladiator. ]
[Part of the same team, huh? They must know each other pretty well, he figures, which would make sense with just how familiar they seemed to be with each other earlier. Shiro, he thinks, is probably a good glue for any team he's in, if he can earn that kind of trust from his team back home, and pull a new one together here so easily.]
The second time, though, Pidge didn't remember being here at all. [The third time too, by the looks of it.] It made explaining who I was and how I knew her kind of awkward. [Something he could definitely learn from and avoid this time around.
But, here, a grim edge starts to seep into his expression and tone.]
So... I probably should have known better than to try and talk to Lance when I saw him.
[ God, he hates this. He hates feeling like he's lying to Keith--he knows damn well that Lance is a shinki because Lance doesn't recognize him. But he has to act like he doesn't know Lance; he isn't sure what Lance told Keith when he was Keith's god.
He doesn't want to hurt Keith in any way, or Lance. Or, god, Pidge, if it came down to it.
Shiro reaches out, rests his hand on Keith's shoulder. It's familiar, warm, even though Shiro wants nothing more than to hug Keith right now. ]
If that's the case... a god becoming a shinki, that's... It would hurt anyone. And you had no way to know that he was a shinki.
[Keith, surprised, tenses up a little at the contact. But... it is warm, maybe not familiar, but comforting in its own way that he can't really put his finger on. Shiro's been endlessly kind to him since they've teamed up, and that touch seems to affirm that his kindness isn't about to dry up after a little honesty.
He exhales, some of his tension easing off with the action.]
I don't even know what I wanted from him. [No, that's not entirely true.] Maybe an apology? [Definitely an apology.] That probably sounds ridiculous. I wasn't going to get one if he wasn't coming back, and I was fine with that.
[Lance coming back as a shinki of all things, it just solidifies that fact, though. He doesn't remember anything he said during the time they spent as a team, and the chances that he ever will simply don't exist any more.
[ Gently, he squeezes Keith's shoulder. There's probably a lot--too much, maybe--going through Keith's head right now. Shiro can't blame him, because he hasn't stopped thinking about the fact that Keith doesn't remember him. It's a feeling that he hasn't gotten over, a feeling he'll never get over.
But he never wanted Keith to have to know that feeling, that kind of hurt. ]
It's not ridiculous, Keith. It's... hard to get over that kind of pain.
[ ... god, is that how Adam felt when he left? He'd like to not think so. But it's not easy to let things go, sometimes, especially when someone is so important to you. ]
It's alright if you feel this way. You've been hurt, and maybe he didn't intend to hurt you, but it's still there.
['He didn't intend to', and that really strikes at the heart of the matter from Keith's end. He looks back up and away from his cup of tea, meeting Shiro's eyes with his own.]
That's the thing, it's not even his fault! I shouldn't be blaming him for leaving in the first place, people disappear from here all the time whether they want to or not. [He thought he had made peace with that fact, but seeing Lance back just dredged all that resentment and bitterness back up. He holds his tongue for a beat, wrestling with the idea of laying more information out for Shiro, before sighing, again, and freeing one of his hands to run through his hair.] I was kind of a mess when I lost my first god, so when Lance assured me he wasn't going anywhere...
[What, he shouldn't have trusted him...?]
I didn't want to take it to heart. Obviously it's not like he has some kind of power over who stays and who goes, but... I did anyway.
[ Even he's lost his cool, and even he has made stupid decisions, said things he never meant to say. Shiro knows it's hard for Keith, because Keith feels so much. Always has--it's why he'd gotten into fights when he was young, why he had been chosen by Red. ]
And you lost someone who made a promise to you, and even if it's not really his fault, it hurts. Doesn't it?
[ He pauses, lost in his thoughts for a moment. Thoughts about Adam, about... Keith. ]
But the fact that you know that it's not his fault--maybe that can help you start to heal from it. ... Without that closure, though... it'll be hard.
[Again, he hesitates, but at Shiro's question, he simply gives a quiet nod. Thinking on it... that's probably the first time he's ever really admitted, even to himself, that Lance's disappearance didn't just feel cosmically unfair, but really hurt, too. Maybe he'd been too focused on trying to get by at the time, and letting himself stew in his own anger was only getting him so far, so his feelings on the situation remained tangled up before being put away entirely.
But, in a way, maybe that's not entirely a bad thing. Maybe now he's in a better place to be sorting it all out. Maybe they're the kinds of feelings best approached with someone else. He sure didn't want to be dumping these heavy topics on his last god, and while he still feels kind of uncomfortable with how vulnerable he's making himself with Shiro in this particular talk, he at least has the advantage of maturity on his side. He knows Shiro has his own troubles and worries to deal with, so Keith will definitely still have to do the majority of the healing on his own, but even a little guidance from his god is tremendously valuable.]
[ And, like always with Keith, it's said completely sincerely and genuinely. Even if it hurts knowing Keith--his best friend--doesn't remember him, Shiro refuses to let that sour their relationship. That's in no way fair to his shinki, who's far from at fault. More than that, Shiro is just happy to have Keith at his side, on his team with Pyrrha and Roxas.
He squeezes Keith's shoulder again, before he drops his hand. ]
And you know, this isn't a one-time thing. I'm always here for you, Keith, to talk or vent or train the frustration away.
[For the offer, for this, for... everything he's done for Keith so far.]
I don't think I'm in much of a position to keep training right now, though. [It's a comment made to lighten up the situation, just a touch, though after he says it, he pauses again, the atmosphere dropping once more as another thought makes its way to the front of his mind.]
I don't want to stop being your shinki. [Not even for a moment has he really thought that, despite the fact that he was never planning on it in the first place. He likes how well they manage to work together, having someone as reliable as Shiro to look to, and the team they've built is a good one. However...] If I ask another god to name me too, would you be okay with that?
[For a while he'd been considering it anyway, with all he's been through, having that kind of safety net just strikes him as a smart idea. Shiro can't control who this place keeps around any better than Lance could, and while the idea of planning on 'in case he loses Shiro too' is pretty upsetting, if he's already being open and honest right now... why not see what he thinks about it?]
[ He falls quiet as he considers that. It's a smart move, and while Shiro doesn't want to leave, what Pidge told him... it haunts him. He'd left Keith not only once, but twice, after the fight with Zarkon.
And who's to say it won't happen again, here? ]
I wouldn't have a problem with that. [ And truthfully, he doesn't. He wants Keith to be prepared just in case.
He gives Keith a little smile. ]
Whoever names you, I'm going to have to make sure they treat you well.
[The chances that he would have gone through with something like this sooner or later are pretty high, but knowing he has Shiro's approval means he'd surely feel a lot better about it.]
It'd probably be Yona, if she agrees. [Oh wow he had that all lined up already, didn't he? He wants to put any worries Shiro might have, joke or otherwise, to rest as quickly as possible.] She and Yoon have done a lot to help me out during the times I didn't have a name, so if I can do that much to help repay them and keep them safe... I'd really like to.
[The wolf, by now, has finished all the snacks Shiro left out for him, and is now making himself cozy by curling up next to him. So big, so warm, so soft...!]
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And when Keith enters the temple, Shiro's in the lounge area, tea prepared and waiting for Keith. The meat's out on a plate on the end of the couch, too. Shiro greets Keith with a smile. ]
Hey. Welcome back.
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Keith can't help but laugh softly when he sees that the wolf's plan isn't to misbehave completely. It's been a long day, and he's honestly pretty tired, which can probably heard in his voice and... should make him a little less apprehensive about talking. At least, he's hoping that'll be the case.]
Thanks.
[The tea... yeah, something to warm back up with sounds extra nice right now. He'll take a cup before sitting down across from Shiro.]
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Go ahead. Keith and I are going to talk, but you can have all the meat on that plate, alright?
[ And then his attention is fully on Keith. His own cup is in his hands, and he takes a sip of the tea. It's good; tea is one of the few things Shiro can make perfectly, and after a day in the chilly January air, it's perfect. ]
So... difficult day today? [ he asks softly, eyebrows pulling together in concern. ]
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wolf
it down.
Keith regards him with a small smile, and then turns his attention back to Shiro. He's grateful for his initiative at cracking the conversation open first, even though it leaves Keith with a number of options as to what to start with. He drops his focus down to the cup in his hands, running his thumb over the rim of it idly as he thinks.]
I didn't know that you knew Pidge.
[It's an attempt to both sidestep the big 'Lance' issue for a little longer, while genuinely getting something off his mind to help ease him into the flow of the conversation and eventually into a topic less... 'easy'.]
She's been here before, twice. We met both times.
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[ More of that time nonsense, then. Honestly, Pidge is right: That shouldn't be possible. Bringing people here, not just once but twice and up to three times, taking them from different times... It shouldn't be possible. But it very much is.
But having to meet someone multiple times, when they don't know you... That has to be difficult. ]
We've known each other for a while. We're part of the same team, back home.
[ A team you're part of, too, a team where you're important and loved, Shiro doesn't say, but he thinks it. Sure, they've had their rough spots, but they've become a family. And Lance and Keith don't even remember.
... it hurts, deeply, worse than any wound he'd sustained during his time as a gladiator. ]
I definitely didn't expect her to show up here.
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The second time, though, Pidge didn't remember being here at all. [The third time too, by the looks of it.] It made explaining who I was and how I knew her kind of awkward. [Something he could definitely learn from and avoid this time around.
But, here, a grim edge starts to seep into his expression and tone.]
So... I probably should have known better than to try and talk to Lance when I saw him.
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Because he's a shinki, he doesn't recognize you?
[ God, he hates this. He hates feeling like he's lying to Keith--he knows damn well that Lance is a shinki because Lance doesn't recognize him. But he has to act like he doesn't know Lance; he isn't sure what Lance told Keith when he was Keith's god.
He doesn't want to hurt Keith in any way, or Lance. Or, god, Pidge, if it came down to it.
Shiro reaches out, rests his hand on Keith's shoulder. It's familiar, warm, even though Shiro wants nothing more than to hug Keith right now. ]
If that's the case... a god becoming a shinki, that's... It would hurt anyone. And you had no way to know that he was a shinki.
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He exhales, some of his tension easing off with the action.]
I don't even know what I wanted from him. [No, that's not entirely true.] Maybe an apology? [Definitely an apology.] That probably sounds ridiculous. I wasn't going to get one if he wasn't coming back, and I was fine with that.
[Lance coming back as a shinki of all things, it just solidifies that fact, though. He doesn't remember anything he said during the time they spent as a team, and the chances that he ever will simply don't exist any more.
And it's frustrating.]
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But he never wanted Keith to have to know that feeling, that kind of hurt. ]
It's not ridiculous, Keith. It's... hard to get over that kind of pain.
[ ... god, is that how Adam felt when he left? He'd like to not think so. But it's not easy to let things go, sometimes, especially when someone is so important to you. ]
It's alright if you feel this way. You've been hurt, and maybe he didn't intend to hurt you, but it's still there.
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That's the thing, it's not even his fault! I shouldn't be blaming him for leaving in the first place, people disappear from here all the time whether they want to or not. [He thought he had made peace with that fact, but seeing Lance back just dredged all that resentment and bitterness back up. He holds his tongue for a beat, wrestling with the idea of laying more information out for Shiro, before sighing, again, and freeing one of his hands to run through his hair.] I was kind of a mess when I lost my first god, so when Lance assured me he wasn't going anywhere...
[What, he shouldn't have trusted him...?]
I didn't want to take it to heart. Obviously it's not like he has some kind of power over who stays and who goes, but... I did anyway.
[Boy was that a Mistake.]
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[ Even he's lost his cool, and even he has made stupid decisions, said things he never meant to say. Shiro knows it's hard for Keith, because Keith feels so much. Always has--it's why he'd gotten into fights when he was young, why he had been chosen by Red. ]
And you lost someone who made a promise to you, and even if it's not really his fault, it hurts. Doesn't it?
[ He pauses, lost in his thoughts for a moment. Thoughts about Adam, about... Keith. ]
But the fact that you know that it's not his fault--maybe that can help you start to heal from it. ... Without that closure, though... it'll be hard.
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But, in a way, maybe that's not entirely a bad thing. Maybe now he's in a better place to be sorting it all out. Maybe they're the kinds of feelings best approached with someone else. He sure didn't want to be dumping these heavy topics on his last god, and while he still feels kind of uncomfortable with how vulnerable he's making himself with Shiro in this particular talk, he at least has the advantage of maturity on his side. He knows Shiro has his own troubles and worries to deal with, so Keith will definitely still have to do the majority of the healing on his own, but even a little guidance from his god is tremendously valuable.]
Yeah... yeah. I hope so.
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[ And, like always with Keith, it's said completely sincerely and genuinely. Even if it hurts knowing Keith--his best friend--doesn't remember him, Shiro refuses to let that sour their relationship. That's in no way fair to his shinki, who's far from at fault. More than that, Shiro is just happy to have Keith at his side, on his team with Pyrrha and Roxas.
He squeezes Keith's shoulder again, before he drops his hand. ]
And you know, this isn't a one-time thing. I'm always here for you, Keith, to talk or vent or train the frustration away.
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[For the offer, for this, for... everything he's done for Keith so far.]
I don't think I'm in much of a position to keep training right now, though. [It's a comment made to lighten up the situation, just a touch, though after he says it, he pauses again, the atmosphere dropping once more as another thought makes its way to the front of his mind.]
I don't want to stop being your shinki. [Not even for a moment has he really thought that, despite the fact that he was never planning on it in the first place. He likes how well they manage to work together, having someone as reliable as Shiro to look to, and the team they've built is a good one. However...] If I ask another god to name me too, would you be okay with that?
[For a while he'd been considering it anyway, with all he's been through, having that kind of safety net just strikes him as a smart idea. Shiro can't control who this place keeps around any better than Lance could, and while the idea of planning on 'in case he loses Shiro too' is pretty upsetting, if he's already being open and honest right now... why not see what he thinks about it?]
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And who's to say it won't happen again, here? ]
I wouldn't have a problem with that. [ And truthfully, he doesn't. He wants Keith to be prepared just in case.
He gives Keith a little smile. ]
Whoever names you, I'm going to have to make sure they treat you well.
[ ... it's only partly a joke. ]
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It'd probably be Yona, if she agrees. [Oh wow he had that all lined up already, didn't he? He wants to put any worries Shiro might have, joke or otherwise, to rest as quickly as possible.] She and Yoon have done a lot to help me out during the times I didn't have a name, so if I can do that much to help repay them and keep them safe... I'd really like to.
[The wolf, by now, has finished all the snacks Shiro left out for him, and is now making himself cozy by curling up next to him. So big, so warm, so soft...!]